How Do You Respond To – “We Need To Talk”?

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“We need to talk.” We’re on guard as soon as we hear these words. In some circumstances we know what conversation will follow.

We mentally go back in history when we have no idea what’s coming. In a hurry to locate the cause for such a statement. Bracing ourselves. Generally going into survival mode.

This declaration tells us something is up. A person we respect is attempting to open up dialogue. Wanting to address an important issue.

These words don’t come from strangers. They come from people we love. Our partners, friends or family members. It’s a daunting sentence yet it should make us curious.

When possible we should stop what we’re doing and give them our full attention. Rather than be on the defence before the conversation has begun.

The “We need to talk”, preparation.

It’s not about winning. It’s about fixing a problem. You’re emotionally attached to this person.

Aware of the individual’s temperament. You know before you begin how they may respond.

Behaviours to prepare for: –

Anger.
Is this person an interrupter? Talking over you.
Will they be defensive?
Become teary.
Present a feisty attitude?
Are they likely to become nasty or sarcastic?

In all the above instances try to remain calm. Don’t jump into their drama. Having your say is only one half of the conversation.

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Procrastinator, How Many Times Are You Going to Put Things Off?

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A message to the Procrastinator. There’s bad news on the horizon. This thing you have. The stuff you don’t do. It’s selective. You pick and choose what you’re going to put off.

Every moment that you don’t act, it plays on your mind. Annoyance runs through your body. Sometimes feeling like it has its own pulse.

Why is it that we continually delay the inevitable? Especially when we’re aware it will make us feel at odds with ourselves. Avoiding something rather than getting on with it?

Working on tasks for short periods of time will relieve you of that sinking feeling.

The procrastinator who meets deadlines.

A deadline looms and every second counts. Putting responsibilities off until the last minute creates more pressure. An individual will never really know if they enjoy the working process. The finish line is their main objective. This will impact on the quality of work produced.

The mind is left frustrated.

Concentration is not at its best. Attention is divided between mentally beating themselves up and the task at hand.
Heavily sighing while doing the job.
Fear circulates throughout the body due to the intense pressure they’re under. Working in a hypersensitive state.
Questioning why they left it to the last minute again? Some even promise themselves it will be the last time they go about their business in such a fashion. This sort of self-talk should be left for after the deadline. Focusing solely on the finalisation of the project.

These individuals get the job done, people are satisfied and it’s over. The procrastinator repeats the same cycle.

What would happen if they underestimated the project and overestimated their ability? Unable to complete the assignment by the due date.

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A Bald Journey. Travelling Through Grey and Moving on in Age.

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This is a public announcement. I declare it’s only a matter of time before I go from a full head of hair to a completely bald look. It’s a future fact. I want to document my journey. Share why it’s important for me to go through such an experience.

I’m a consumer of hair dyes. Years of wearing different shades of colours. From lights to darks. I don’t know what sits beneath the products I place on my noggin.

About seven years ago I started to see specks of white coming through. In denial I put it down to living in a sunny state and having blond hair. The answer was now clear. The sun was naturally bleaching my wavy mop.

At the time I must have been more comfortable with failing eye sight. Rather than coming to terms with this colour starting to surface on my head.

Over the last two years it was obvious greys were starting to dominate. I could no longer fool myself. Being blond was a part of my history now.

The grey realisation had me shocked. I ignored it for a month. Or more like seven years and one month. I didn’t want to face it. White and grey were my favourite colours. Until they started to appear on my scalp.

How was I to consolidate aging? Was this where I was meant to start seeing myself as matured? What did that even mean?

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The Modern Day Hunter and Gatherer, a Unique Species.

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We have come too far in the Women’s liberation movement for our modern day Hunter to throw his female over his shoulder and take charge. Saying, “me man, you woman, come”.

That is of course unless modern day Gatherer approves of it first.

Confusion is faced as the Hunters role has slowly lost its authoritative dominance.

The Female now has many opportunities to become the Hunter. Bringing in the income, taking care of her family’s livelihood and joint decision making.

Her intention is never to under mind her partner or offend his masculinity. She’s only taking care of business.

The modern day hunter.

Times have changed and the Hunter now spends more time on his grooming. Sweet smelling aftershaves drift through the air. Females catching the fragrance as he struts on by. Making her weak at the knees.

His sessions at the beauty salon often left with less body hair than his female counterparts. It may appear as if gender roles have been swapped. The Gatherer a ballsy and modern day go getter.

The Male spending nearly as much time in front of the mirror as the women. Leaving the mucho flexing his muscles in the mirror. Considering Botox and peck in-plants to complete his buff looking physic.

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Superhero Strengths to the Emotional Rescue.

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You have a lot of strengths in common with Superman. Yes you should continue reading. In fact I want you take this post seriously. So, I’ll never say you’ll be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound or soar through the air, like a bird or a plane.

Superman is a service provider. Fighting crime. Caring and protecting humanity. In times of need, he showed his strength, courage and passion. He did whatever he could to maintain order.

However, this Superhero has one weakness. When the Baddies wanted to get the better of him, they used kryptonite to take advantage. It’s their only weapon.

Can you guess what your kryptonite is? There aren’t too many things that can take you down. What has the potential to weaken you?

Not the people around you.
Not the work you do.
Not where you live.
Not what you own.
Not your education levels.
Not the clothes you wear.
Not the car you drive.
Not what you look like.

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Walking The Path Requires Discipline To Turn Dreams Into Reality.

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The path paved with good intentions is nothing without the actions. The journey of life will provide you with: –

bends in the road (new opportunities),
sharp turns (unexpected changes),
hills (life’s upheavals) and
bridges (fear).

You notice along the way there are many side streets. Some appear interesting and even tempting.

As humans, we often stray from the path, finding other areas of our life that we want stimulated.

Sometimes we’re looking to escape or find an easier way of doing things.

We discover after a while these alleys are nothing more than distractions. Some emotionally and others financially costly.

These are our life experiences. Once we feel the sting of the lesson; we are righted for a time and head back on the path.

Are you a detours kind of person? Seeing the path directly in front of you. Yet some of those side streets light up like Time Square on New Year’s Eve. It’s easy to be lured down these avenues.

You go down enough of these streets to recognise there are no short cuts in life and diversions create chaos.

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Do You Have the Right Skills to Empower People?

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If time is precious then shouldn’t we be having conversations that encourage growth? Sharing experiences that are inclined to motivate. You possess the right skills to empower people. May as well put them to good use.

There should be little room for gossip or circulating in negative banter. This has no value. In fact the truth will have most naysayers backing away slowly. Speak louder, have authority in your voice, drown at any doubters.

While they’re removing themselves to a safe listening distance, hold firm. As time goes on people recognise what you stand for.

Empowering mode.

This is working in the flow of an individual’s thoughts and ideas. Stay on their topic of choice. Ask questions and show interest.

Don’t be in a hurry to have your say. Listen and enjoy others holding the floor. When you’re in empowering mode you’re going with the mood, attitude and behaviour of another.

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. – Stephen R. Covey

When the times right, share your observations. Emphasis their good qualities. Underlining what they do and how you’re fond of these particular abilities.

Assess their feedback. Their response is an indicator of whether you should continue. You’re not seeking approval or agreeance. You’re looking for permission to proceed.

Some people won’t want your help or guidance. Yet most individuals love to hear what you see in them. Especially if it’s a ‘feel good’ quality. Empower people, highlight their best assets. This will rev up the conversation and get them thinking.

Empower people, highlight their best assets.This will rev up the conversation and get them thinking. Click To Tweet

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Interview with Deshawn Keiner from NaCaroInc.

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Deshawn is no ordinary woman. Her childhood was not easy. Facing hardship and abuse. Growing up with little love. You could understand why anyone would want to drown their sorrows and numb themselves to the world. It’s not like there aren’t a number of valid reasons.

Yet you won’t get those kinds of thoughts or words from Deshawn. What you will receive is encouragement. She knows the depths of despair. Waking up and reaching for her cure was a daily habit. Read her post A Cocaine Addicts Morning.

She has the capacity to empathise with you when you’re not on top of it. She won’t be at your pity party. But she will be by your side showing you how you can come back from anything. How you’re valued, regardless of what you have been through.

She will not stand for you sinking. She won’t hear any of that. Her message is clear. No matter what you have done, how you previously behaved you can choose the life you want to live.

She doesn’t give it to you sugar coated. You want raw honesty. Well, you’ve come to the right place. Sorting your life out and living a drug-free existence is not easy. But she will always tell you you’re worth it. You deserve it. Read, 5 ways to achieve peace in your life. Her tried methods for keeping her balance.

I can’t wait for you read the interview I have had with Deshawn from NaCaroInc.

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How to Pitch A Strong Opinion Without Losing the Message.

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Have you ever listened to a speaker deliver a message where you hold onto their every word? It’s a spectacular scene to behold. Its that strong opinion that sparked passion.

Every part of their voice and gestures show commitment to the subject. Creating discussions where everyone’s hooked. There are many for and against. The whole group are under no illusion, it’s the subject that’s under attack. Disagreement stirs the conversation.

The message is lost when: –

It becomes personal.
It’s about one person’s point of view. Every other opinion is dismissed.
Individuals are being talked over.
The main objective is to win an argument rather than debate it.

A crowd will leave the talk with what stood out the most. The subject is no longer the talking point. The behaviour has people shaking their heads in dismay.

Problems arise when one falls deaf to views that aren’t in line with their own. Behaving as if their beliefs are the only ones that matter.

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Forgiving is Breaking Free from the Bondage Others Created.

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Forgive and forget. Don’t you find it odd, these two words are combined to form a sentence? Life has delivered hardship. An experience forever imprinted in your memory banks. You may become forgiving but you will never forget.

Let’s face it, forgiving others is a tough process. Although the alternative leaves you condemned to replay the torture over in your mind.

Forgiving others is tough. The alternative leaves you condemned to replay the torture over & over. @thedigger0 Click To Tweet

You don’t just wake up one morning reading something on the internet and start forgiving. There’s countless steps one must travel through mentally to let go of the past.

Many an evil have others had to endure as a human[s] unleashes their will over another. Premeditated immoralities, errors in judgement and accidents impact others. Taking years to recover.

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