Superhero Strengths to the Emotional Rescue.

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You have a lot of strengths in common with Superman. Yes you should continue reading. In fact I want you take this post seriously. So, I’ll never say you’ll be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound or soar through the air, like a bird or a plane.

Superman is a service provider. Fighting crime. Caring and protecting humanity. In times of need, he showed his strength, courage and passion. He did whatever he could to maintain order.

However, this Superhero has one weakness. When the Baddies wanted to get the better of him, they used kryptonite to take advantage. It’s their only weapon.

Can you guess what your kryptonite is? There aren’t too many things that can take you down. What has the potential to weaken you?

Not the people around you.
Not the work you do.
Not where you live.
Not what you own.
Not your education levels.
Not the clothes you wear.
Not the car you drive.
Not what you look like.

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Easter Time, Chocolate Treats and the Child Negotiator

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It’s that time of the year again. Chocolate treats are everywhere. Retail shops start pushing Easter not long after the Christmas decorations come down.

Lucky we know a little about the psychology of marketing. Otherwise we may suspect that Cadbury do a secret deal with children.

All the pretty coloured wrappers shining and teasing the kids. Shopping is hard enough without the Easter promotion. The youngsters eyes light up when they see the gold bunny or their favourite characters plastered all over the chocolate treats.

Babies reaching out from the trolley in an attempt to grab at the sparkling colours. Three year olds put on their thinking caps. Wondering how they’re going to get their mommy to buy them chocolates. The five year old coming straight out with it. Asking for sugar treats. Not accepting no as an answer.Continue reading→

Let me introduce you to my brain crew. ‘The Girl & The Professor’.

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Have you ever wondered why some choices are hard to make? Others are, as clear as fresh running water from a river. At times it feels as if the brain prefers confusion rather than certainty.

What about when you want to begin something new? There are several reasons to go ahead and countless excuses not to start at all. Leaving us frustrated by indecision.

Do you know how your brain works? Have you ever stopped to listen? To find out what goes on in there?

I have two main characters residing in my mind. Both generally hold opposing views. One representing the right part of the brain. The emotional side. I call her ‘The Girl’.

‘The Professor’ who takes up the left hemisphere forming the logical side. The rationale area of the mind is not in charge. Although it does take control when the passionate side gets out of hand.

Two completely different personalities talking, debating, arguing and on the rare occasion working together.

Once I identified these decision makers, my life became a little easier to navigate.

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How Do You Respond To – “We Need To Talk”?

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“We need to talk.” We’re on guard as soon as we hear these words. In some circumstances we know what conversation will follow.

We mentally go back in history when we have no idea what’s coming. In a hurry to locate the cause for such a statement. Bracing ourselves. Generally going into survival mode.

This declaration tells us something is up. A person we respect is attempting to open up dialogue. Wanting to address an important issue.

These words don’t come from strangers. They come from people we love. Our partners, friends or family members. It’s a daunting sentence yet it should make us curious.

When possible we should stop what we’re doing and give them our full attention. Rather than be on the defence before the conversation has begun.

The “We need to talk”, preparation.

It’s not about winning. It’s about fixing a problem. You’re emotionally attached to this person.

Aware of the individual’s temperament. You know before you begin how they may respond.

Behaviours to prepare for: –

Anger.
Is this person an interrupter? Talking over you.
Will they be defensive?
Become teary.
Present a feisty attitude?
Are they likely to become nasty or sarcastic?

In all the above instances try to remain calm. Don’t jump into their drama. Having your say is only one half of the conversation.

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Procrastinator, How Many Times Are You Going to Put Things Off?

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A message to the Procrastinator. There’s bad news on the horizon. This thing you have. The stuff you don’t do. It’s selective. You pick and choose what you’re going to put off.

Every moment that you don’t act, it plays on your mind. Annoyance runs through your body. Sometimes feeling like it has its own pulse.

Why is it that we continually delay the inevitable? Especially when we’re aware it will make us feel at odds with ourselves. Avoiding something rather than getting on with it?

Working on tasks for short periods of time will relieve you of that sinking feeling.

The procrastinator who meets deadlines.

A deadline looms and every second counts. Putting responsibilities off until the last minute creates more pressure. An individual will never really know if they enjoy the working process. The finish line is their main objective. This will impact on the quality of work produced.

The mind is left frustrated.

Concentration is not at its best. Attention is divided between mentally beating themselves up and the task at hand.
Heavily sighing while doing the job.
Fear circulates throughout the body due to the intense pressure they’re under. Working in a hypersensitive state.
Questioning why they left it to the last minute again? Some even promise themselves it will be the last time they go about their business in such a fashion. This sort of self-talk should be left for after the deadline. Focusing solely on the finalisation of the project.

These individuals get the job done, people are satisfied and it’s over. The procrastinator repeats the same cycle.

What would happen if they underestimated the project and overestimated their ability? Unable to complete the assignment by the due date.

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Excuses Need to be Used Sparingly.

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Doesn’t life get in the way sometimes? You’ve committed yourself to an action. Prepared to follow through and get the job done. Then the unforeseeable pops up. It happens. What do we call a change in plans? Excuses, reasons, explanations or justifications.

Is this an isolated occurrence or does it happen on a regular basis? That’s what we look at in this post.

An internal alarm should be sounding off when you hear an excuse forming in your mind. It’s worth thorough examination. This could well be a blind spot in your thought processors. Unaware your words and actions maybe holding you back. This behaviour may even impact others.

Have you ever heard the beginning of the following sentences come out of your mouth?

I can’t exercise today because….
I detoured on my diet because…
I was late because…
I behaved the way I did because…

The top two show lack of discipline. The excuse is so you’re not haunted all day from breaking a commitment to yourself. Sloppy justifications make something we wanted changed, remain exactly where it is. This attitude stagnates progress.

I ate cake when I was on my diet ‘because’… Who do you think the excuse is for? Nobody cares about your weight more than you do.

Success is not obtained overnight. It comes in installments; you get a little bit today, a little bit tomorrow until the whole package is given out. The day you procrastinate, you lose that day’s success. ― Israelmore Ayivor

Numbers 3 and 4 are justification for others. You’re late and it impacts people you’re committed too. How many times do you think this will be tolerated before you’re ‘that person’ in the team, people would prefer not to work with? Would you rely on someone who is consistently late?

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Interview with Brent Jones from Brent Jones Online.

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For a lot of you this man needs little introduction. Brent is a Freelancer who shares tips and tricks on how to become a Freelancer. Arriving on the blogging scene in 2014. Knocking on doors, creating his brand and becoming known as an expert in his field.

His journey is remarkable. Brent walks the talk. Sharing practical advice. Interviewing others who give us insight into their Freelance journey. His professionalism is second to none. Throughout his work there are traces of his quirky side. Leaving a joke, a picture or video that gives us a giggle.

So without any further ado, I would like introduce Brent Jones.

Brent you decided to leave your place of employment and a secure income on 6^th September 2014. Your boss was shocked, he did not see it coming. It’s a lot to go out and move from a well-paying job to working on your own. In your post ‘Should You Quit Your Job?’ you sound prepared and ready to move into the new phase of Freelancer. What truths did you face? How did you calculate risk into the factor? What key skills were you relying on?

A lot of successful freelancers start out building their online, service-based businesses as a side project. A sort of side hustle around their day job… for me, I knew that wasn’t a possibility. I don’t do well when I split my focus between multiple objectives.

That said, I also wanted to mitigate risk as much as possible.

In the post you are referencing, wherein I described quitting my job the same day I got the keys to my new house, I failed to mention that it was actually a calculated risk. My wife and I bought our first house in the small town of Fort Erie, a couple of hours away from Toronto. Our monthly mortgage payment was actually a fraction of what we used to spend on rent in Toronto.

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A Bald Journey. Travelling Through Grey and Moving on in Age.

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This is a public announcement. I declare it’s only a matter of time before I go from a full head of hair to a completely bald look. It’s a future fact. I want to document my journey. Share why it’s important for me to go through such an experience.

I’m a consumer of hair dyes. Years of wearing different shades of colours. From lights to darks. I don’t know what sits beneath the products I place on my noggin.

About seven years ago I started to see specks of white coming through. In denial I put it down to living in a sunny state and having blond hair. The answer was now clear. The sun was naturally bleaching my wavy mop.

At the time I must have been more comfortable with failing eye sight. Rather than coming to terms with this colour starting to surface on my head.

Over the last two years it was obvious greys were starting to dominate. I could no longer fool myself. Being blond was a part of my history now.

The grey realisation had me shocked. I ignored it for a month. Or more like seven years and one month. I didn’t want to face it. White and grey were my favourite colours. Until they started to appear on my scalp.

How was I to consolidate aging? Was this where I was meant to start seeing myself as matured? What did that even mean?

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To be human is to feel confusion at times.

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Confusion is similar to a jigsaw puzzle. Each piece represents an action or words spoken. Other bits signify opportunity or decisions yet to be made.

When we start a jigsaw we spread all the pieces out. Each bit requires examination. Grouping similar colours together. We then get busy organising each section we created. Constantly referring to the picture on the front of the box.

These puzzles can become frustrating. They take time and patience. You don’t pack up an ongoing project when you’re done for the day. It’s left as is, ready for your attention when you come back with a fresh perspective. Steadily working towards its completion.

That is what we have to do with confusion. Chop it up, divide it and then piece it together so that all the bits are tidily attached forming the big picture.

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The Modern Day Hunter and Gatherer, a Unique Species.

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We have come too far in the Women’s liberation movement for our modern day Hunter to throw his female over his shoulder and take charge. Saying, “me man, you woman, come”.

That is of course unless modern day Gatherer approves of it first.

Confusion is faced as the Hunters role has slowly lost its authoritative dominance.

The Female now has many opportunities to become the Hunter. Bringing in the income, taking care of her family’s livelihood and joint decision making.

Her intention is never to under mind her partner or offend his masculinity. She’s only taking care of business.

The modern day hunter.

Times have changed and the Hunter now spends more time on his grooming. Sweet smelling aftershaves drift through the air. Females catching the fragrance as he struts on by. Making her weak at the knees.

His sessions at the beauty salon often left with less body hair than his female counterparts. It may appear as if gender roles have been swapped. The Gatherer a ballsy and modern day go getter.

The Male spending nearly as much time in front of the mirror as the women. Leaving the mucho flexing his muscles in the mirror. Considering Botox and peck in-plants to complete his buff looking physic.

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The Difference Between Want and Need.

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You may want celebrity status, love and affection. Your aim could be the accumulation of millions in savings or a house with a picket fence. The latest car or the largest diamond has your thoughts spinning. Yet you need none of this to continue to breath.

Your heart continues to beat and your organs function. Even when all hopes and dreams have been shattered. There’s a big difference between need and want.

A child relies on their parents for food, warmth, and clothing. The elderly reliant on the same necessities as they walk toward the tail end of life. Becoming frail and dependent on others.

Wanting.

We have become accustomed to creature comforts. Enjoying material wealth.

You don’t need your phone to live. That’s a luxury item. Something we all take for granted.

We have our hearts, minds and souls invested in our sweethearts. Any alteration to this partnership can break us. We can love and feel grief over lose. Yet we still breathe.

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