Why is it that we have confidence and are able to manage well on some days? Other times we feel jilted by who we are? Where self-assurance once was, scepticism has now taken its place. How do other people keep a steady flow of confidence? Why does it appear that yours comes and goes?
Blame it all on those feelings.
Think about how many different emotions you feel in one day. Our moods change depending on the person we’re communicating with and situation we’re in.
The secret is not to react to your emotions. Think of yourself as one of the sky gods. While you’re in discussions you’re also watching all the action from high above.
The sky god does not react to the emotions only observes and feels them.
Other contributing factors.
As if those pesky emotions aren’t enough. Add to the mix other extenuating circumstances.
Your eight hours of sleep. Being well rested certainly helps everyone through their day. Think about when you don’t get enough shut eye.
Parents will confirm how hard their days are when bubs kept them up all night. Tolerance levels go down. Stressful situations are not managed nearly as well as they would have been had the right amount of sleep been had.
Being hungry reduces concentration levels. Irritability and impatience are telling signs. Becoming physically weak without food can slow down our thought processors. Fueling up balances our mood.
The immediate attitude shift.
Have you ever felt a little fragile? Maybe indecisive or a little edgy. Then someone pisses you off. There’s an instant mood change. Uncertainty no longer lingers in the mind. You’re clear about what you stand for and where you’re at.
These days you go from second guessing yourself to immediate decision maker. This is a reminder that confidence was not far. It was just kicking back and did not need to be in command.
Confidence – Smashing your problems.
There’s that steely determination. Problems can line up one after another and you will manage them. Dealing with any obstacle without any pressure what so ever. We all want more of these days.
How do we manage when we’re not feeling our super selves?
Proceed with your day as normal. Don’t have high expectations. Allow for a pace that’s consistent and comfortable. You’re more than capable in these times.
Confidence isn’t always about feeling good. Our realities are not ever shaped by one mood. It’s an awareness of the ‘SELF’ and all the moods and contributing factors that create a mindset.
It’s about understanding who you are. And trusting that person.
Confidence is about understanding who you are and trusting that person. Click To TweetIs there an area that you don’t have complete faith in yourself? It’s nothing more than a part of you that requires attention, focus and time to learn a new way.
Low self-confidence isn’t a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered–just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better. – Barrie Davenport
Think about the Michael Jordan story. In high school he was cut from the basketball team. That was unacceptable to him. He’s the gatekeeper of what information and feedback he allowed into his mind.
Jordan is known to have gotten up at the crack of dawn to train in rain, hail or snow conditions. He worked as hard as everyone else. He also had a reputation for leaving practice long after everyone else had finished.
The game has its ups and downs, but you can never lose focus of your individual goals and you can’t let yourself be beat because of lack of effort. – Michael Jordan
All you have to do is have the Jordan attitude. See the big picture. Visualising the glory, months or years down the track.
Yet you’re not to worry about tomorrow and all its responsibilities. Remain focused on the present. Getting out of bed with whatever attitude you have. Making your way to the next step. Pushing though whatever you’re feeling at the time.
The gatekeeper of information.
Outwardly we receive feedback from the world. It has the potential to have an impact on us. It can reinforce that our words and actions are either appreciated or rejected. Protecting and guarding ourselves against useless material.
At ALL times, decide whether feedback is worthy of registering in your mind. Click To TweetSift through compliments as well as negative feedback. Both are great pieces of information if we deem them to be. But we must be the gate keeper of our minds. It’s important to decide what we think about and what’s rubbish.
Doubt always looks for attention.
Landed that dream job. Or decided to go it on your own. We feel way out of our league. Instead of letting insecurity fill you up, focus on your skill set.
Confident people do face negative chatter in their mind. Doubt will present itself at every possible opportunity. It serves no purpose. Listen to it for a little while. It sounds like a broken record. Repeating itself over and over.
Doubt will present itself at every possible opportunity. Ignore it. It sounds like a broken record. Click To TweetPay no attention to this doom and gloom emotion. This is the precise time to adjust your thinking. Become disciplined in what thoughts get to play over in your mind. Doubt is a habit from way back.
Remember you didn’t fluke an interview to get the job. The person hiring you has a reputation to uphold themselves.
You don’t give up the safety of a wage or salary to start out on your own lightly. You decided to take on risk. It’s going against the odds, you already knew that. Yet you saw something in yourself that said, ‘you can do this’. Go forth with a positive frame of mind.
It is confidence in our bodies, minds, and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures. – Oprah Winfrey
It’s not like you’re going to deviate from the plan anyway. You didn’t get this far not to follow through.
In my post, ‘Confidence – A trademark you walk, talk and wear’. I talk about exploiting your positive skills. Showing off integrity, ability and determination.
If you want to investigate fear read, ‘Stare fear in the face and decide how to respond’. This post highlights steps to take when evaluating fear.
Starting something new.
There are allowed to be questions you can’t immediately answer. The ability to locate the solutions is the skill. Having the confidence to say, ‘I’ll check into that and get right back to you’.
A customer may sigh so loud, you hear doubt coming through the phone. Keep the smile in your voice. That scepticism will be cleared up once you return their call with the answer.
You’re in a new relationship. It’s time to meet some of your partner’s friends and family. You greet everyone with a big smile, eager to communicate and begin on a positive note.
It’s one of those noisy parties. Where it’s loud and tough to chat. You don’t get an opportunity to show off your good side. You’re okay with that because there’ll be other times. You’re not out to prove yourself, only make a good impression. Had you forced the situation you would have come across as trying too hard.
We’re all moody humans.
The trick is to be grateful when your mood is high and graceful when it is low. – Richard Carlson
You won’t enjoy all your moods. Feeling melancholy. It’s a bummer. You have a choice. Get busy and focus your attention on something else or remain in the mood.
You certainly don’t have to wear the attitude for everyone to experience it. When you’re in company you smile even when you don’t feel like putting in an effort. That’s what we do. That’s how we live.
Yesterday you were on top of the world, today you don’t want to leave the house.
Confidence hasn’t left. You’re not down or doubting yourself. You just feel a little off.
Joe who lives up the road isn’t always upbeat. It may appear so because he puts on his best smile, even when he’s feeling down.
Judy is not all about success and sailing through life smoothly. Even though that’s how it appears on Facebook. We attempt to put on our best attitudes when we communicate with one another.
It’s similar to the professional face we wear. You may have had a disagreement with your partner. When you get to work you may share what happened with a few close colleagues. Yet you don’t broadcast it to everyone.
You don’t air your dirty laundry. It’s not about telling everyone your life’s let downs, as though you’re confessing to a priest.
You can’t expect to be walking that high voltage of confident all the time.
Lap it up when it arrives. Don’t go searching for it. Or wondering if you really do have it. Tune into you. Understand, value and accept your moods.
It didn’t go as planned.
Just because you did not handle a situation well, doesn’t mean you don’t have confidence. Put simply, you didn’t handle the situation well.
Instead of thinking I’m not a people person. Yet you’ve been managing humans for over twenty years. This is one particular interaction that did not go as planned. You learn to assess the situation and see where you could do better next time.
Falling off a horse and breaking your arm. You don’t rip down all you horse posters from your office wall, sell your barn and every animal with it. You get back on a horse as soon as possible.
Your confidence got knocked around. Taking a fall is tough. It hurts. We allow ourselves to feel miserable. Then we get back up.
Stop thinking confidence is an everyday in your face feeling or behaviour. When have you ever held the same mood for more than 24 hours?
In the kitchen.
There are days were you prepare dinner and whip around the kitchen. Jamie Oliver would be proud of your prowess. However there are other days, when you’re doing the same prep and it’s tough. The task bores you. Pushing yourself to complete the job. You have not lost confidence. It’s nothing more than a different mood.
I am confident but…
I would be confident if I did this right. I didn’t manage that situation so well. I’m not happy with this part of me.
A seamstress shows off her work to a potential customer. The consumer compliments her creation. Instead of accepting the feedback and saying, ‘thank you’ – the designer points out all their mistakes. Errors a lay person would never have noticed. Putting a negative spin on the quality of the work.
Before the conversation is over the prospective buyer has decided not to make a purchase.
If you were to take away the but…in your life would you consider yourself confident?
Fixing the but… in your own time.
It’s time to give yourself a break. Stop with the but… This habit is not worthy of you. Referring to yourself in the negative. Confirming you’re confident but…
Working towards improving yourself in the but… area. Stop seeing that but… as a reason why you’re not confident.
Take the pressure off confidence.
- You don’t have to be an over achiever to be confident.
- You don’t have to be good at everything.
- You don’t have to excel in every area of your life.
What you do when you embrace confidence in your life is: –
- Have a nurturing relationship with yourself.
- Accept that you don’t know everything. What you do need to know you have integrity to find out.
- You aren’t good at everything. Although you have the ability to be good at what you set your mind to.
- You won’t always handle an argument, pressure or stress. Yet you’ll manage it to the best of your ability when you have to.
Feeling bad does not mean you have lost confidence.
- When things don’t go according to plan, you manage.
- When you don’t like how you handled a situation, you still participated. You did not walk away.
- When you got it terribly wrong, you still got on with life.
- When it hurt like hell, you licked your wounds and continued.
Confidence is about accepting you for you.
You generate a radiance from the inside out. That but… has got in the way too many times. It can make you blind to what you’re really good at. Don’t be the seamstress fixating on areas in your life that require a little work.
The toughest relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. I have a workbook with tips and tricks on how to develop a wonderful relationship with yourself. When you subscribe to my blog, this free guide will be delivered to your inbox.
You may lose your balance but not your confidence. Congratulate yourself for always wanting to be better. Acknowledge that you enjoy how you represent yourself. You get slightly rattled when it does not always work out as planned.
Then get a little cranky with yourself, for confusing a wobbly day for lack of confidence. Don’t’ beat yourself up. This is a waste of time. Not every day is going to be a win.
Confidence does not come and go. It can get knocked around a little. But we are resilient beings. We bounce back.
There will be days when you’re unsure of yourself. Other where you’re quiet and introspective. Particular moody and nit-picky days can be tough. These are allowable attitudes. Most times we keep them to ourselves. Yet every now and again, we’re not our super selves and our mood shows us up.
Yet when the pressures on, confidence comes to the rescue. We manage the situation whilst juggling our emotions. Our self-reliance handles all the tough situations.
Without that but… you would have to embrace confidence to its fullest capacity. Why not give it a go.
Confidence is about how you view yourself. Breathing in all of who you are. Acknowledging what’s so wonderful about you, work on the rest later.
Don’t forget to pop your email address in on the side of the page. This will ensure you get your Self-Development Workbook. Start having a better relationship with yourself today.
Hi Rachel,
What a very positive and motivating article. I love how you shared that just because we are not at the top of our game doesn’t mean we are not confident. I have days with my auto immune disorders where I just don’t physically feel my best and I have accepted that there are those who just wont and dont get that. They expect me to come around with a smile on my face and then think I have an “issue” or something when I am not doing cartwheels. That is really their issue not mine. LOL
Great article Rachel. I’m sending you an email to respond to you on your other question you had with me too because I am again locked out of the community we both like to hang out in. : )
Have a great week.
Irish
Irish Carter recently posted…8 Tips to Become a Better You
Hey Irish,
You must have a reputation as a happy go lucky. People get used to leaning on you. Some people don’t know how to deal with others when they are not upbeat. It certainly sounds like you have a firm grip on those expectations of others. Cartwheels are just no fun when you don’t have the energy. You’re right it is there issue and not yours. That takes a weight off anyone’s shoulders when they discover that.
I can hear it now (you’re not feeling at your best, feeling pretty weak physically) and your friend is asking whats wrong. Saying, are you okay? Sure nothing is wrong?
Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel,
Very thought provoking post indeed!
Many of us lose our confidence at the slightest failures in our lives and some people even get to the point of depression when they are met with series of failures. Such a person needs a guru or mentor at the right time who can show him that it is okay to have failures in life. They should learn to also achieve their goals in steps and learn to congratulate themselves in the process to achieve the bigger goals. If a person can develop such an attitude, he can never lose his confidence. I personally learned this when I attended one of the workshops by Landmark education.
Cheers!
Sarika
Hey Sarika,
Failures do hurt. We need some time to shake them off. But I have always seen failure as a kind of success. Like you were gutsy enough to do it. You would never have failed had you not tried it. For me the wonder is always in the doing. Its when we expect too much from ourselves and knock ourselves around mentally for not getting right the first time is when we can fail before we have begun.
Sounds like you have a good grasp on how you see yourself. And that is wonderful, it also means you have spent time self developing. That can never be underestimated. We should always appreciate ourselves and be gentle on our person. Thanks for you comments.
Rachel.
I totally enjoyed this post.
I keep trying to explain to my friends what I go through day-to-day with my overall mood changing.
I truthfully believe that every human has a day or days they feel most connected with. Days they feel like they’re at their best. After a month of analyzing my behavior and mood (by writing it down), I learned that for some reason Sunday’s are the days I consistently feel the best with Monday coming a close second. Somewhere between Tuesday and Friday I start to feel a little withered down. Thursdays are usually the day that I hate everything. And Saturday, while it’s no Sunday, my mood improves because I know the next day is going to be Sunday. I think the reason why I have such a connection with Sunday is because I believe that it’s a new week and a new opportunity to make things better. This concept of newness makes me feel refreshed.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I use this “mood guide” that I created to make sure that I build self-efficacy by working on my “good days” and then Tuesday-Sunday I focus on doing tasks that allow me to build my confidence in other ways. So I’ve turn days that are usually not productive for me into productive ones by increasing my confidence. Does this sound weird? Does it make sense?
Natasha Solae recently posted…How Artists Can Use Content Planner’s to Create A Brand
Hey Natasha,
It appears as if its your first time at my blog, so welcome.
I enjoy how you see it. A moon guide. My only suggestion is have no expectations on these days about how you must feel. I certainly feel on Saturday a little lighter because I know my Sunday I get to sleep in and do things outside of my normal routine. However there are also Saturdays where I am exhausted like you noted because its the end of the week.
I love how you put it – this concept of newness makes me feel refreshed. New weeks certainly are full of opportunity. Thats what excites me about a new week too. And your hate day, big smile – we all struggle through those days. I just have never pin pointed a day like it. I think you recording your moods is wonderful. You certainly have given me food for thought. I may even consider doing my own mood guide and see how it goes. Come back to your comments and see where we are similar and where we differ.
Oh it’s far from weird, I find it truly amazing. It makes sense and I feel humbled that you would share it with me. I can’t wait to visit your blog and see what you got. Glad we crossed paths. Looking forward to getting a whole heap of ideas from you.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel,
I agree with you that confidence isn’t always about feeling good. It’s about understanding who you are. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered–just like any other skill. You’re what you think about and talk to yourself – if you’re positive and determined in your self-talk, you be that.
The more aware you are, the more confident you’re and remain so as long as you’re aware. Acceptance is the first step and then you work on yourself with a discipline to keep the confidence pumped up.
Thank you and it’s been a fitting sequel to your previous post on confidence – enjoy your weekend 🙂
Harleena Singh recently posted…Top 5 Behavior Management Strategies For Parents
Hey Harleena,
I agree self acceptance is the first step. Reaching self acceptance is many small lessons of observations on how we think and treat ourselves. We can be either hard on ourslves or gentle, either way we are still going to go through the feelings. I have learnt allowing ourselves to be human and fail allows us to get up from it faster, but also be game to go out and challenge ourselves further because we are not afraid of how we will treat ourselves.
When we expect perfection, or to be without error is when we put too much pressure on ourselves to our perform. This can have us on the losing end before we have even start.
I agree with your statement – Self-confidence can be learned, practiced and mastered just like any other skill. Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
We should remain calm & confident all the ways because it is sure that success comes after failure its a proven fact. We should face the failure not run of it.
Failures are the key for success you should keep trying always.
Thanks Nice thought you have shared!
Hey Jenie,
It appears that its your first time to my blog, so welcome.
While calm is wonderful, that is not how we always feel on the inside. When we don’t, the ability to manage how we feel are the tools that we develop over a life time. Not all our days will work out the way we want. Accepting that we won’t like all our actions on particular days, is allow ourselves to be human.
I agree with you Jenie, failures are lessons and steps in the right direction of success. Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel,
It’s an actual post to know who you’re? And what you can do on your own? Yes, every day we wake up and dream big to have such things. But the most significant thing is to be happy with your small achievement and just stay there while a minute to look the happy moments and then again look forward to your next achievement.
We always fed up because we have kept a big or enough dreams to achieve. That would be disappointing part of life. Let it be and work for small goals. And boost yourself by self-motivating. Although it’s also essential to have good physic and moral thoughts.
Look forward and have a great week, be happy.
Mohammad Shabir recently posted…Top 10 Engineering Manager Interview Questions
Hey Mohammad,
Dreams can always be attained by breaking them down into small achievable goals. There will always be days when we feel its all too much. No matter who you are. But you are right if we stop for a while and reflect on how far we have come and what we are able to achieve we may be able to change our perspective. However even if you cannot (which is reality, you can just put one foot in front of the other). Face your first responsibility and then the next.
We all have ups and downs, to accept this rather than fight is awareness. Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
Really a thoughtful post, Rachel!
People get it wrong by connecting confidence with perfection. Confident people are not necessarily the winners always. Learning from mistakes, accepting imperfections and turning your weakness to strengths is also a good sign of confidence.
For me a confident person is one who manages to smile even after a bad day and is determined to use this experience to succeed in the coming days.
Thank you for writing this.
Hey Tuhin,
You make a great point about perfection. Attempting to get everything perfect highlights insecurity and fear of criticism. Doing our best and knowing where to draw the line is self awareness.
Working on our limitations is a life time job. Its like learning a new subject. The more you know the more you know there is to know. We develop and uncover more and more of ourselves. The best bits come after we have rid of the trivia. We go deeper into ourselves and its like the crown jewels shinning. Always been there just waiting for discovery.
I enjoy your interpretation of confidence. Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
hey Rachel
it is lovely post but a little much to read it, Actually I had some interesting lines means how to build a confidence even something is difficult beyond my capable, I will struggle faily as well try that I could it then thing can be simplify.
thanks for your post!
Hey Abebaw,
It appears you are new to my blog so welcome.
Confidence certainly does not mean we can win all the time. It does not mean we are incapable. The difference is knowing that we are able to acquire new skills if we try. We don’t have to be good at everything. Confidence allows us to see is for who we are. Limitation included. Thanks for your comments.
Rachel
Hi, Rachel
What a fantastic inspirational speech. Glad that you point out confidence is not always on the high note. I like the way you say that “Confidence is about accepting you for you”. Confidence is about you know your own identity and your feeling about yourself is not affected by external events.
Confidence people can fall from the top but they can stand up and do the jobs again.
Great article will share!
Hey Stella,
Confidence comes internally and shines externally. We know this when we accept ourselves. Befriending ourselves rather than treating ourselves like the enemy.
I agree Stella, confidence is about knowing your own identity. That way we don’t struggle when we’re not accepted by all. The external world can never keep a person who likes themselves down. Thanks for you comments, I appreciate your support.
Rachel.
This post almost made me cry tears of relief! It’s so nice to hear someone say that it’s okay to have good days and bad days frequently. Sometimes I get so frustrated because things will be good and then out of the blue I’m down and out. Thank you thank you for making me feel okay about this and knowing how to handle these days 🙂
Hey Emily
It appears to be your first time to my blog, so welcome.
Thank you for such a wonderful comment. For the post to have stirred so much emotion is great feedback.
Sounds as though you have to do a little bit of trust work on yourself. On those down days, things don’t go according to plan you are so hard on yourself. I can hear it in your words. You get a little confused when you go from high to low and the drops in attitude could be rather dramatic. This is a big area. But very exciting because you can see what is going on but not understanding it. (YET).
Let me know if you want to delve into this further. You are at a cross roads in your life. Wanting to do better, but there is sabotage in your growth because of these moods.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel,
Great discussion on confidence. I like that you made your points through different illustrations.
You know, you are right–confidence should come from within, practically no matter what happens, especially if circumstances seem to attack our emotions–we are indeed moody 🙂
Confidence becomes part of learning. It’s a byproduct of the entireness of what happens inside and outside of us. It also becomes a sign of strength–which we could always improve–being able to see things as they are–even if we really see things as *we* are.
Confidence isn’t always about feeling good only when things are going well–it’s an intrinsic quality. If any it should radiate more when times get tough.
Hey Nathan,
Its your first time to my blog, so welcome.
I think its important to make statements and the delivery examples. Human behaviour becomes confusing and information can be misinterpreted without sharing a few antidotes.
Confidence cannot come from anywhere but within. When our emotions are impacted we become unbalanced. We then react to the world rather than respond. Reacting means we are not in control.
I agree confidence becomes part of learning. Each new step we take will impact on our thoughts and behaviours. External forces can be the very indicators of where we can actually work and strengthen our confidence.
It has to be our own perspective. You and I can both have gone through the same experience and both have been impacted differently.
People really show who they are in tough and stressful times. Trusting ourselves when it feels as if the world is against us, is the most valuable piece of self we will ever need to attain. Thanks for your comments. It took me a while to respond and I like when that happens.
Rachel.
Wow Rachel! This post was absolutely amazing!
I seriously took a screen shot of this part and saved it in my phone.
Low self-confidence isn’t a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered–just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better. – Barrie Davenport
Confidence took me a really long time to develop. It is definitely a muscle you have to keep in shape and it’s definitely something that stems from self-efficacy.
I feel like true confidences comes from giving yourself challenges. When I stop challenging myself, I stop believing in my abilities or capacity to complete and excel at tasks.
Thanks so much for writing this! I thoroughly enjoyed!
Natasha Solae recently posted…Three Morning Habits That Will Upgrade Your Life!
Hey Natasha,
It appears that it’s your first time to my blog, so welcome.
We never have to worry about confidence. We have to nurture our thoughts and how we perceive ourselves. When we like ourselves confidence will take care of itself.
Life knocks us about. Being affected by it, is to be human. Confident people aren’t bullet proof, they are resilient. They get back up. I enjoy what you do to continually check in with yourself. Challenges will keep you growing, they include risk which has the potential to make us feel good and bad. Well done. Continue to exercise that confidence muscle. Mental gym work is just as important as being physical.
Thanks for your comments and for taking a screen shot. Use that quote like a mantra. Share it with everyone you know. We have to get it out that self confidence is something we can all have.
Rachel.
I think all of us struggle with lack of confidence at one time or another. Thank you for some great tips to over come it!
Hey Cynthia,
Our minds are programmed to whisper doubt where confidence should be. That can knock us around. We just need to be on top of the brains chatter. Thanks for the visit.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel,
You’ve brought up some fantastic points. This is such an important topic too because if more of us were comfortable with just being ourselves, I feel we’d be living in a different world.
Self-doubt, in my opinion, is one of the most common obstacles to living a life on purpose. I had to work LONG and hard to take a good look at my own self-sabotaging beliefs and only when I questioned and then challenged them did I finally free myself of some of the webs of chaos that ruled my mind.
I think it’s easier to establish a consistent level of confidence when we aren’t so attached to external circumstances being in control of our lives. Since doing the work on myself (and of course it never ends), I’ve discovered that I’m in a neutral frame of mind more often than not. It’s a way to observe what’s going on with a sense of curiosity instead of emotionally reacting to it.
This alone has played a positive role in my levels of confidence.
I feel that when we simply allow ourselves to enjoy the journey without getting attached to the outcome, we naturally allow for the process of creation to happen. We “fail”, we succeed – and we learn and grow.
As always, thought provoking stuff Rachel 🙂
Dana recently posted…What is the Ego (and is it our enemy?)
Hey Dana,
Self doubt is mental cancer. It can incapacitate us for a life time if we are not careful. This doubt also is used for lying to ourselves. So the work you did on yourself is incredible. You do know that don’t you? You mentally cut yourself open and took a serious look. Never should this work ever be underestimated. It dam well hurts to face ourselves in this light. We have to make changes and shift old habits and beliefs. Its like starting something new and all you get are bruises before any positives come from it. No wonder most want to try it but end up running the other way.
That neutral frame of mind is balance. Observing the self and not reacting to your emotions (very powerful indeed Dana) and exciting to say the least. I am a fine advocate of curious. It keeps us stimulated, opens our minds and teaches us.
The external world is a wonderful paradise, but it also has it demons so we can certainly be impacted by it for various reasons, but when you have that neutral mind set you are in exactly the right mind.
You have raised so many points that will be great for part three. As always a joy to have your comments. I really appreciate you sharing all the work you put in to yourself. It reminds me of my work, I appreciate it so much more when I hear you say it. Thanks.
Rachel.
I’ve always lived by the “fake it till you make it” when I didn’t feel confident. As an actress, it’s gotten me by in a lot of situations!
Hey Jessica,
Nothing wrong with fake it till you make it. My first post on confidence talks about this. As an actress you could use a character that you’ve previously played. Thanks for your comments.
Rachel
Great post! I especially love the line when you say the toughest relationship we will have is with ourselves….so true! I know my confidence is often effected by outside factors, by my own attitude, and many other things. I need to watch my reactions more carefully, and be mindful of giving myself a break sometimes. Thanks!
Hey Shann,
I so agree Shann, giving yourself a break. You’re still going to think about whatever it was you disapprove of. Go gently. This was one of my most valuable life lessons. It sits near the top. Now I make mistakes and laugh at myself. Still think about them, but no more of the mental beating myself up. Its a different kind of nurturing. Allows me to be more, do more and fall flat on my butt. Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel! As always, what a great and thoughtful post. I’m a big quote person and I’ve never heard this one before
‘The trick is to be grateful when your mood is high and graceful when it is low. – Richard Carlson’
That one will be staying with me 🙂
Hey 204 Park,
Glad that saying will stay with you. When I found the quote you write of, I thought it was dynamite as it really supported what I was trying to get across.
I’m a bit like you I enjoy quotes to.
Thanks for your comments.
Rachel
This is a wonderful post. Your quotes are great and of course, I reflected upon them. As a mom, I have to teach confidence every day to my children, especially my 3 year old. I ensure that she is confident in her choices, including what clothes she wears and what she eats.
Hey Christine,
Glad you enjoyed the post. Such wonderful feedback when you say you reflected upon the quotes.
Teaching kids confidence has been a constant wonder for me. That and instilling decision making skills into children. They are the tools the need right throughout their lives. You obviously put a lot of effort and thought into your parenting.
Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
Oh my word, I am so emotional and so many things make me super happy or sad. I loved that you said that it is important to understand who we are. After reading a post about ego and your post..I think I will constantly remind myself that I am not my identification, my looks, my job… I am Irina… wonderfully and beautifully made in Gods imagine. Nothing I do can change that. If I change my looks, become better at cooking… there will always be something that might make me feel not so good. So no comparing… I’ll be nice to myself… thank you love for the reminder.
Hey Homegrown Adventures,
Being gentle on yourself breaks down barriers you created in order to protect yourself. It frees you from your own critical inner voice. You are allowed to make mistakes and go easy on yourself.
Different moods is who we are. We can embrace the behaviours that work for us and change how we respond when a mood creates a little chaos in our lives.
Honestly comparing ourselves to others is such a waste of time. Enjoy what others do and have. Get motivated by it, but never want what they have, when we do that, we forget about what we wanted.
Glad you enjoyed the post Irina. Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel
Indeed is is necessary to know who were are. It is also difficult because humans are complex and emotional beings. Confidence comes to us when our emotional needs are met but emotions are vulnerable.
Even when we feel like a lamb we should dig a little deeper and find the lion inside of us. Sometimes its difficult and sometimes our lion roars all by itself. As long as we realize everyday that it is there.
Some people like to play the victim. This is a dangerous game. Victims never win. Either you control your emotions or they control you.
Thanks for a great post with lots of food for thought.
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Hey Igert,
I have come to really look forward to your perspective. Emotions make us chase our tail when we are unaware of how we react to the outer world.
Your lamb and lion analogy is so very fitting. The lion always exists within, we should never forget that.
A victim mentality is a cycle of thinking that requires a lot of self reflection. One will always find excuses when these limited thoughts are acceptable. I find this a dangerous way to live for anyone.
Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.