Facing a fear factor one step at a time, takes us to the cross roads of change and calculated risk. Opening up opportunity to step outside of our comfort zones.
Our confidence grows when we break through personal barriers. Experiences of this nature send us on emotional journeys. Acquainting ourselves with these sensations improves our awareness of how we operate internally.
I had arranged a tandem sky dive. The date was set. The three week countdown was on.
I was curious about how I managed challenging situations. My motivation was to familiarise myself with my own fear factors.
Every time I thought about the pending jump I would be bombarded with competing sensations.
Negotiating the Fear Factor.
My mind presented many excuses as to why I did not have to do such a silly thing like jump out of a plane. What did I have to prove to myself? I had done it once before, doing it again was pointless.
These questions would automatically send me to another stage of thinking.
The Fear Factor Thrill.
I felt brave challenging myself. I knew I was scared that feeling is never confusing. I was walking towards a fear factor that would make my heart race.
Legitimate Worry.
- What happens if the plane crashes?
- What happens if its windy day and the plane hits turbulence?
- What happens if the chute does not open?
My imagination had me plummeting to earth. Being splattered when I hit the ground.
To be fair, there was a margin of risk. If anything were to go wrong the result would be injury or death.
The first tandem sky dive I experienced panic. I pulled the chord to activate the chute. No immediate action happened. I had not given it proper thought. It takes a couple of seconds for the parachute to unravel itself.
Caught in the Commitment of the Fear Factor.
My mind was made up. There was no turning back.
Had I not met my commitment I would have felt tortured. Days of wondering and feeling bad about myself. What I considered chickening out (cancelling the tandem sky dive), was not an option.
RELATED: The Ten Emotional Phases of a Skydive Newbie.
The day had arrived.
I woke up to feel a sense of dread and obligation. My sighs were deep and terrified.
It got to the stage where I was frustrated with myself. I had allowed the negative thoughts to dominate. How could I turn my mind around? I wanted to relieve myself of the heavy burden of fear?
An action packed adventure was on the agenda. And I’m calculating how much time it would take for it to be over. Wishing my life away and the experience finished before it began.
I arrive at the office to be issued with paper work. Company policy obligates all individuals to sign their indemnity form. It relinquishes the firm of all responsibility of injury or death.
I was adding my signature to a contract that had calculated the hazards into the jump. Reiterating the risks.
I’m introduced to my tandem guy. Mentally I’m weighing him up. He looks responsible. I wonder who folded the parachute. Can they be trusted? He informs me that he has been doing the job for a long time. This information alleviates some of the fear.
The plane takes off. I know I can still pull out. My thoughts are urgently reminding me of this fact.
Seconds before I jump, my mind switches gear. I surrender and accept what is front of me. Excitement and fear rush through my body. It was time to dive and I was ready.
Out the plane we go, gravity forcing us down. Nothing to balance my hands or feet on. I am alerted to how physically shaky I am. A nervous jitter pulsating throughout my entire body.
Within five minutes of landing on safe solid soil I am exhausted. All the adrenaline has run its course. It’s been an experience of emotions.
What did this jump teach me?
Taking calculated risks provides new experiences. Opportunities to step outside of our normal routine.
Feeling insecure and terrified was a part of the process. These overwhelming emotions have the potential to zap all the physical and positive energy from us. We have to ensure we move through this stage. As there are so many other sensations to experience.
At times it felt as though I could not push past the negativity swirling around in my mind. It took a whole lot of concentration and will power to shift it from there.
Fear Factor Validation.
“It is not a person or situation that affects your life; it is the meaning you give to that person or situation, which influences your emotions and actions. Your choice is to change the meaning you gave it or to change your response, in order to create the outcome you want.” – Shannon L. Alder
Weigh up the pros and cons of the situation. Be thorough in your analysis. Upon commitment, prepare yourself for the barrage of excuses. Your mind has been trained to express these fear factors as rational justifications. Attempting to sabotage your forward progress.
Here is an opportunity to re-program your mind. Become militant; determined to observe the chatter, rather than be pushed around by it. There is no point validating negativity. Giving it your attention once is more than enough.
Practicing discipline, taking control of how you will spend your thinking time. The voice that encourages you to step outside of your comfort zone, has not been used to its full potential. It’s time to strengthen the part of your mind that acknowledges the risks but goes ahead anyway. See my post on Compartmentalisation for information how to concentrate on your immediate situation.
The voice that encourages you to step outside of your comfort zone, has not been used to its full potential. Click To TweetUtilise those negative excuses as triggers. If your mind attempts to crush your plans, replace that thinking with constructive thoughts. Breaking the habit of indulging these excuses. Putting your mind to better use.
Adrenaline.
An adrenaline rush is neutral. It occurs in times of excitement and fear. It does not favour one or the other.
We should learn the mechanics of adrenaline. Recognise when it circulates throughout our body. Working with it, taking advantage of its presence. This would take some time to understand and process as its a physical reaction.
Merriam Webster definition of adrenaline is as follows:
“a substance that is released in the body of a person who is feeling a strong emotion (such as excitement, fear, or anger) and that causes the heart to beat faster and gives the person more energy” http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/adrenaline
RELATED: What Happens During An Adrenaline Rush?
The tandem sky dive taught me that I am responsible for the perspective I hold. Whether it be positive or negative. Finding the balance between the two is the practice.
I will be the focal point for however long I decide to play. Half of me likes that idea and half of me doesn’t, but once the adrenaline kicks in, I’ll probably really enjoy it. – Martin Gore
Different Perspectives.
Two men separate from their partners. A stressful life changing situation. Marital status update: Married to separation with no possibility of reconciliation. It takes time to recover from heartbreak. Having to adjust to a new way of life.
One man sinks his sorrows. Drinking to numb his pain. Over time this turns into a habit. Alcoholism becomes an issue. Dwelling on the loss of his wife.
The other goes through a period of upheaval. Feeling desperate and hurt. This guy may even partake in the odd drink. Never to numb the pain. After a long period of sadness he slowly starts to rebuild his life. Acknowledging separation was tough but not allowing one major upheaval to define the rest of his life.
Controlling your thoughts. Nobody else can do that for you. How you view an experience, opportunity or outcome is entirely up to you. The more you expose yourself to the fear factor pressure the better you become at managing your emotions, thought processes and behaviour.
Controlling your thoughts. How you view an experience, opportunity or outcome is entirely up to you. Click To TweetEnabling yourself: – You acknowledge the fear factor yet concentrate on the solution. Focus and mind management are required at this stage. You control how you spend your time thinking. Learning new ways of dealing with intense situations.
Disabling yourself: – Your dominate thoughts remain stuck in the negative area. There are many ways of viewing your situation yet your brain zeros in on the fear factor and nothing else. You are not exercising discipline over the mind.
“It is a fact that one man can be deliriously happy in the exact situation that causes another man to wither from depression. – Richelle E. Goodrich
Two stages of facing fear factors.
Recognise fear as our internal alarm bell. See it as motivator. Make it a life rule. If it scares you, an in depth analysis is required.
Use the ‘when, why, how and where’ – questions to investigate fear.
- Why do I feel fear in this area of my life?
- When did this fear arrive?
- How will I overcome this fear?
- Where will I face fear?
- What lessons will I learn?
Write a list of all the reasons why fear requires your full attention.
RELATED: Stare Fear in The Face and Decide How to Respond.
Stage one: Action time.
- Set a date to face your fear factor.
- Experience all your thoughts and emotions. Have a time limit for your brain to explore any area of this topic. Then its time to focus.
- Think of as many possibilities as you can. Choose the solution that sits most comfortable with you.
- Exercise discipline over the mind. Control your thought processors.
- Prepare for the upcoming date.
Without facing your fear, you cannot get to stage two (Reflecting on the experience).
- Replay the situation in your mind?
- Note all your actions?
- Would you have done something differently?
- How could you improve next time?
Taking action means you faced your fear factor. Celebrate this victory.
If your plan of action worked for you, stick with it. If it went balls up, continue to acknowledge that you met with fear head on. Think about how you will manage it next time.
Wrapping up.
A tandem sky dive took me on an emotional adventure. Unpleasant to exhilarating feelings surfaced leading up to the jump.
The main lesson was perspective. Any experience we encounter can be viewed from a positive or negative stand point. We will remain focused on the fear factor if we don’t learn to discipline our mind.
It’s not easy to shift our focus from trepidation and concentrate on other aspects of the situation. This created periods of frustration.
When the pressure was at its peak and it was time to sky dive, my mind came through for me. I embraced the experience.
Feeling a fear factor is our internal alarm system. Ringing off a warning. This should lead us to a thorough investigation. Exploring what has created such a disturbance.
Learning how to manage challenges is all we can ask of ourselves.
There’ll be times when fear and calculated risk have been considered. You conclude no further action is required. You aren’t shrinking away from an experience. You analysed the situation and deemed it not worthy of action. What a feeling to trust ourselves and the decisions we make.
How do you manage your fear factors?
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Hi Rachel,
Let me start by wishing you a very Happy & Prosperous New Year, with this very first post on this year 🙂
My goodness! You really challenged your fears and sky dived! Amazing indeed!! I cannot even imagine the experience and the emotional roller coaster ride you must have been through! When was this…last few days of December I think, when you hadn’t come over to the ABC I think nor very visible on the social media (I was about to message you about it, but thought perhaps it’s the holiday mood everyone was in).
Yes, you are so right about all that you mentioned – the ONLY way to fight the fear factor, no matter what the situation, is to face it. Once you do that, you feel better to take up the rest of the challenge. The first step, initial hesitancy, and giving yourself that one last push is all it takes, isn’t it?
That’s just the way I do it too when I have to face my fear factors – I just get headlong with it, and start it off!! The rest is taken care of on it’s own. I guess self-affirmations, self-talk, and preparing yourself for what’s in store for you always helps, and of course, nothing works if you are not positive about it all.
Thanks for sharing your lovely experiences with us. Have a nice weekend and a ‘fearless’ new year ahead 🙂
Harleena Singh recently posted…7 Ways to Find Freelance Writing Jobs
Hey Harleena,
Always enjoy your feedback. Happy New Year. And what an exciting year it will be. I bet you have yours planned.
The jump was around this time in 2014. I was slowing down over the Christmas period and two weeks into the New Year. I want to recharge the batteries, so I can zoom into 2016. I have another two weeks of go slow before I will be back with you on a more consistent basis.
I could not agree with you more Harleena, the beginning, the first couple of steps, that starting point is the hardest. Once we get past that, it is all about consistency. I also like the idea of facing fear because there is an element of risk and failure. I don’t like the idea of falling but I am not one to step away because it. And the stories where things did not turn out as planned have magical lessons in them once the wounds have healed. I have those scares and stories to prove it. But I also think as I have gotten older, I don’t take myself as serious so getting a laugh or the moral of story because of what I faced is a story worth telling.
Self affirmation is so important especially when the mind won’t budge, when we can’t move things with positivity. However I have been in situations where I have focused on the fear and it creates like its own heart beat. It is pointless because I worked myself up into a mess. My brain taking every thing out of proportion. That won’t do ever.
So 2016 is the year for the fearless, I think I will make that one of my own mantras. Thank you.
Talk soon.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel,
What a joy to be here today. Glad to land on the first post of the new year 2016.
I am here today via one of the pins from Madam Harleena.
A very timely post. The lessons learned from a tandem sky dive is really an amazing experience! The Fear factor in life is indeed a vast subject. You explained it well by using your own experiences along with some scientific aspects.
Thanks for sharing your experience.
I am sure your readers too can pick some lessons too to overcome this fear factor.
Season’s greetings to you and yours.
Best Regards
~ Philip
Philip V Ariel recently posted…It’s Time To Change – A Guest Post by Jaco Alberts
Hey Philip,
It’s your first time at my blog so welcome.
Thanks for the feedback about where you saw this post. Very handy indeed. I am still not on top of the Pinterest Boards yet. That is on the list of things to learn.
I am a glutton for punishment Philip – I would rather feel alive and fail than remain in my comfort zones. So doing a jump was motivated by many challenges but fear stood out the most.
I hope anyone who visits takes something away with them, whether it be thoughts, inspiration, happiness, anger. What ever sparks something. Then I know what I am doing has been worth it.
Thanks for you kind words.
Rachel.
[ Chuckles ] Hmm. Wilfully facing one’s fair and embracing it.
Lovely post.
Also, do have yourself a wonderful 2016!
Renard Moreau recently posted…Diana Ross’ “Upside Down” Is A Hot Classic!
Hey Renard,
Welcome back.
We have to face what scares us most. Feeling those sensations is an experience in itself.
Hope you have a wonderful 2016 where you meet all your plans and goals.
Thanks for popping over.
Rachel.
Hello Rachel,
Allow me to firstly wish you a Happy New Year 2016.
That’s a great post. Each paragraph forced me to reflect.
I agree with all the points you mentioned.
Lady! Hats off for skydiving.
That’s on my bucket list.
You have given me a lot of essential information on what I should be expecting.
Fear will definitely be on the agenda as always.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong in feeling scared but letting our fears hold us captive is what wreaks havoc. I love the two stages of facing one’s fears you mentioned.
That’s close to how I manage my own fears. Sharing my fear with somebody close to me is an additional way I like to use to get a grip on my emotions. I feel sharing lessens the burden for me.
I also remind myself of all that I have to lose if I let my fear take control of my thoughts and actions. Everything we want is usually on the other side of fear. Isn’t it?
Thank you, Rachel for a great post. Truly admire you for what you experienced through skydiving.
Wish you a great weekend and lovely start to the week 🙂
Hema Unnoop recently posted…17 Outstanding Stars Share Their Biggest Life Takeaway From This Year (2015)
Hey Hema,
Happy New Year to you. Hope you meet all your plans and goals.
Years ago I decided that I was going to have a life that had its little peaks and thrills planned. I wanted to experience things outside of the ordinary. When we get a taste of that, we will continue our search.
Love that you have a sky dive on your bucket list. I have no doubt you will get there. 2015 you met head on with your public speaking and that turned out wonderfully. Let me know when you decide to jump so I can feel excited and scared for you. I am sure you will be taking hubby along with you.
You’re right Hema, fear is nothing more than an a feeling to alert us that we must have a good look at what is making us feel like that. We should never let it stop us from doing anything.
I like your style of sharing your fear with friends. I am totally the opposite. I don’t share anything until I have conquered. I don’t like other people’s input before I have truly made up my mind. That’s how I have always been.
Thanks for your wonderful comments.
Rachel.
Oh my gosh, Rachel! You rock girly!
This is truly an inspiring post but I’m afraid my fear of heights would have me dying from a heart attack on the way down. LOL
I really admire you facing your fears!
B
Brenda P recently posted…Set #Goals, Not #Resolutions
Hey Brenda,
Welcome. LOL – I get the heart attack bit. My biggest fear is underwater diving. That one I keep putting that off. I know I would love the quiet and the colours, but that breathing apparatus makes me uneasy. When I watch a program of someone deep sea diving I feel like I can’t get enough air in to my lungs. And I would love the opportunity to swim with sharks but I have a good 30 years to procrastinate on that one.
Thanks for the visit.
Rachel.
Hi, Rachel
Enjoy in reading your detailed account of skydiving. It was very interesting. It must take a big courage to try the skydiving which some people not even have the guts even to think about it.
Believe it or not, skydiving and flying an airplane are in my bucket list. One of my good friends did try skydiving. She had similar experience with yours.
In response to your question in managing the fear factor, I will face my fear head on because there is no other ways. It is so stressful in the bondage of fear.The best way is to throw myself into the event.
Wishing the fantastic 2016!
Stella Chiu
Stella Chiu recently posted…10 Keys to the Success of your 2016 New Year Resolution
Hey Stella,
I always enjoy your comments. Skydiving made me feel a live. A thrill. And it gives you the outlook – if I can jump out of a plane, I can do anything. I hope you do cross it off your bucket list. It does not surprise me that you would consider doing this. You are already a thrill seeker in my books. You left your family, moved to a new country, learnt a new language, had to make new friends.
LOL – I could imagine you recognising something that bothers you and then acting on it straight away. You are blessed with the big man in the sky and your beliefs make you strong. You won’t be kept in the bondage of fear. That I already know. Make sure you tell me when you are going to do you sky dive, because I will be nervous with you. Always great chatting.
Oh and 2016 – I know you will achieve all your dreams and goals. But wishing you the best anyway.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel,
What a wonderful experience! It must be so exciting! Wow! I am delighted at your adventurous nature and the efforts you made to vanquish your fears.
I got the opportunity of paragliding once and I must say that the experience was extremely exhilarating. Keeping that in mind, I can understand all those emotions you have so beautifully shared in this post.
To my mind, most fears are external, caused by people and circumstances. I eliminated my fears long back, having convinced myself that nothing scares me. I could face all kinds of people – the angry mother, the bullying brother, the intimidating boss, clever and selfish friends, the insecure colleagues, the indignant parents and some unruly students staring at me, with dagger eyes!
Yes, perspectives do differ. Thanks for sharing. Stay blessed!
-Balroop
Balroop Singh recently posted…The Call Of Calmness
Hey Balroop,
Welcome back. Your experience at paragliding would have been just as daunting as my jump.
Managing our fear is all we are capable of doing. How we feel comes to us naturally. Some of it logical other times it’s our old behaviour wanting to sabotage us. All we can do is analysis it and work from there.
Sounds as though you have met head on with those who challenged you. That’s wonderful. It takes practice at dealing with people and their behaviour.
Oh aren’t you brave – facing a whole lot of pupils. If you can get through their brute attitudes you can get through anything. They can be the toughest audience. I dare say you have story upon story. I agree most fears are external caused by people and circumstance. That is why we must learn to evaluate and sum up what we are thinking. It is important for people not to get caught up in the negative. Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel
Firstly, a very Happy New Year to you. I really enjoyed reading your post. What a detailed account of skydiving. You must have enjoyed alot.
Skydiving has always fascinated me but I have never got the chance to do it. Now this post has inspired me….will definitely going to try it out. I really liked the way you described your fears and how you managed to overcome them. This proves that nothing is impossible if we are determined to do it.
Now if I have any fear I will face it head on because the only way to conquer it is to face it and defeat it.
Thanks for sharing!
Sonal Talwar recently posted…Help yourself avoid Technology Addiction and stay Healthy!
Hey Sonal,
Glad the post inspired you. Mark a date for your jump, do some research and do it. I promise you – you will wonder why you haven’t done more things that take your breath away.
Fear is nothing more than a hurdle yet to be jumped. At first we may not be capable of jumping it, but with practice we get better at it. That’s how I see fear. I don’t have to face it immediately but I won’t allow it to stop me either. And generally when I have faced a fear a feeling of alive comes over me. Most people feel elated – we all just describe it differently.
Let me know when you’re going to do your jump so I can feel fear and anxious with you.
Thanks for stopping by always good to see you.
Rachel.
Hi, Rachel–WOW! Good for you! Sounds like an amazing time, and I’m proud of you for staring your fear down in order to achieve your goal!
Wishing you and yours every possible joy and blessing in 2016!
Chanler recently posted…Saying ‘Goodbye’ to 2015.
Hey Chanler,
Thanks for stopping by. Thanks for your comments. Facing our own challenges are what makes us feel alive.
Right back at you, hope you have a wonderful 2016
Hey Rachel, the story is simply Wow ^_^ I’ve personally tried few such things (not a sky dive yet) and I’ve to agree that getting near to death, really helps in understanding the true value of our time. As a human being, it’s damn easy to fall in the trap of comfort and not that hard to find self procrastinate. These calculated risks does help. Thanks for sharing your story. It would have hurt a lot if you kept it under the stone.
Pawan Kumar recently posted…US to get ASUS ZenFone Zoom at $399 from February
Hey Pawan,
Its your first time to my blog, so welcome.
I agree our comfort zones are places we get to go back to, enjoy and relax, but not to remain for long periods of time. This is how we stagnate.
The near death experience is not what does it for me. Risk of failing is what will get me motivated all the time. I don’t like it, but I am not afraid of it. I would rather fail than not having tried something that scared me.
I wonder what few things you have tried that have taken your breath away. Sounds as thought sky diving is on the agenda at some point. Hope so, it is a thrill.
Thanks for popping over and leaving a comment. Nice to meet you.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel
I am reading this post and saying to my self. Wow!
Happy new year Rachel and what a way to start the year. You gave yourself a wonderful challenge and I can imagine how your mind will be going.
All the thoughts and fears plus the voice that says you should quit.
You are right that our fears are just alarms. We should learn to control them and use them to our advantage.
Thanks for sharing Rachel. You simply are awesome
ikechi recently posted…Keep Speaking No Matter What
Hey Ikechi,
Happy New Year.
I see fear as a hurdle yet to be jumped. In fact I saw a quote today saying something like, thank you fear – I know you are here because I am living.
What a way to see fear hey?
Our minds, I tell you we can spend a life time running from it, or we can exercise discipline and not let us rule our lives. They are the only two choices we have. I choose the latter. I believe you do to. Thanks for the visit.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel,
an awesome post indeed!
Fear is something that stops us from achieving goals.
I am gonna destroy fear thats prsent inside me 🙂
Thanks for changing my thinkings, Rachel!
~ Ahmad
Muhammad Ahmad recently posted…[Case Study] How I made 102.5$ on Fiverr within a month!
Hey Muhammad,
I agree fear can stop us, but it does not have to. One can prepare for fear and then face it head on.
I like how you are going to deal with fear. Great work. Keep up that mind strength – Impressive.
Rachel